Friday, December 28, 2012

Kinder Eggs in Canada

Kinder Eggs are on sale for $1.17 at Walmart in Winnipeg.  They are still illegal to sell in the United States.  Yet the Canadians don't seem alarmed by the incredible danger this chocolate-with-a-plastic-toy-in-it poses to society.  I tried to warn them, but at $1.17 apiece it's hard to argue with delicious choking hazards at an everyday low price.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Credibility Issues

I have a hard time believing the very same government that just finished supplying assault weapons to Mexican drug lords has any credibility in regulating private American gun ownership.

A "fast and furious" example of government incompetence.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Banning Black

In the wake of each senseless tragedy, we are told we cannot talk about it.  After we wring our hands and say "I thought it could never happen here," we are told that our Constitutional rights prevent it.  But as America finds itself engulfed in an epidemic of rampage shootings - from shopping malls and movie theaters to grocery store parking lots and elementary schools - it's time to finally do what needs to be done: the color black should be banned.

What does every shooting have in common?  A violent videogame?  A weapon with a high-capacity magazine?  A public school system without endorsement of a specific 1st Century religious deity?  A documented history of mental illness, asocial behavior, and the over-prescription of psycho-pharmaceuticals?  No.  What every shooting has in common is the color black.

Any crime scene investigator will confirm: every rampage shooter wears black.  Sometimes a trench coat.  Sometimes canvas pants.  Sometimes a bullet proof vest.  Sometimes only the weapon itself.  But it's always black.  It's the color of death.  It enables the concealment of weapons, the stealth of the perpetrator, and strikes terror into the hearts of innocent victims.  And until we are willing to admit that the world would be a safer place without the color black, we will never be able to address the root cause of this issue.

Now I know some hard-lined civil libertarians will say that a government prohibition of the color black violates the First Amendments guarantee of free expression, but no right is absolute.  The social contract that we all unknowingly sign holds that there are common-sense limits to our free expression and the color black is no exception.  The First Amendment was written in a very different time - one in which black was in very limited supply and not nearly as pervasive and opaque as the deep, dark blacks of today.  And those hues have consequences with a death count.

And while I realize there will be some so intent on wearing black that they will create a "black market" to obtain this color (even as law-abiding citizens are no longer allowed to wear it), our society cannot condone this behavior simply because some would boldly affront the rule of law.  Our government should wage the War on Black as strongly as possible by spying on Americans  without being incumbered by obfuscatory judicial procedure, strip-searching all Americans before they are permitted to enter a public building or board an aircraft, and implement a carefully-considered assassination list for the targeted killing of anyone believed to be plotting the display of the color black or aiding and abetting those who would.

Look, I am not opposed to keeping a pair of black dress shoes at home for festive gatherings, nor am I saying that a woman should not be permitted to wear a revealing black dress to a night club or a man should not be permitted to wear a black suit and tie to a formal dinner.  But allowing the attire of a highly-disturbed individual to be nothing but black is madness and some legislation should be promptly passed to stop another rampage shooter dressed in the color of death and intent on taking innocent lives.

Yes, it is impossible to prevent every tragedy.  Some serial killers, gang bangers, and murderers prefer other colors... but it's much easier to prevent crimes by people wearing white - whose blood-stained clothing and easily-identified hue would make it much easier for law enforcement to intervene.  Rather than getting caught up in the extreme ideological divide of this debate, it's important to remember that banning black is guaranteed to prevent at least one such tragic event.  And isn't that worth everyone being mandated by government force not to wear the color of evil?

This is an important conversation to have and our country is not having it.  The garment lobby has heavily infiltrated Washington and prevents the kind of sensible laws that would put an end to the mass shootings caused by the color black.  Judging by the sale of other colors of clothing, the majority of Americans support limiting access to black garments.  It's time to act.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Prohibition Never Works

79 years ago today, the 21st Amendment ended the prohibition of alcohol, which had been enacted 13 years earlier with the 18th Amendment. Prohibition was a well-meaning government program intended to address the social, criminal, and health-related problems of alcohol abuse. But it turned out that prohibition created unintended consequences such as black markets, criminal trafficking, dangerous underground products, and a culture that demonized even responsible enjoyment of alcohol.

This should have been a lesson about prohibition more generally. Can you think of something else the government currently bans even for consenting adults in the "land of the free?" 

Senator Warren has Ties to Mafia?

Well, kind of. In an ideological sense. It's one thing to share voluntarily, it's quite another to have a hit put out on you if you don't give the mob a cut.

(click for larger version