Monday, October 27, 2014

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Some Biblical Policy Recommendations!

I read with interest in a recent Valley Courier op-ed that concluded with: "The United States of America can still be a great country. I've seen a bumper sticker that you might consider: VOTE THE BIBLE."

I wasn't entirely clear what this actually meant, so I spent some time poking around the Bible and have come up with the following policy recommendations from the book of Leviticus, citing chapter and verse.

It shall hereby be a criminal offense to: burn any yeast or honey in offerings to God (2:11), fail to include salt in offerings to God (2:13), bring unauthorized fire before God (10:1), let your hair go unkempt (10:6), tear your clothes (10:6), eat a rabbit or pig (11:4-7), attend church within 33 days of giving birth to a boy or 66 days of giving birth to a girl (12:4-5), have sex with a woman during her period (18:19), reap the edges of a field (19:9), mix fabrics in clothing (19:19), eat fruit from a tree within four years of planting it (19:23), get a tattoo (19:28), work on the Sabbath (23:3), or blasphemy (24:14).

Now, I realize that many of these crimes, as directed by the creator of the universe, are to be punishable by death (public stoning is the method recommended in the Bible) but that seems rather harsh for a first offense.  Maybe I'm just soft on crime.

Anyway, I'm not quite certain how to handle the many directives on trading slaves or properly beating them to serve their Christian masters, but the Bible clearly has recommendations for keeping slaves and never condemns the practice... so this may necessitate another Civil War to truly establish.  It will only be in keeping with these and the many other recommendations found throughout the Bible that America may still be a great country.

...What's that?  Many of the authors of the U.S. Constitution were deists who explicitly rejected religious influence in government or the establishment of a theocracy?  ... The Constitution doesn't even contain the words "God," "Bible," or "Christianity?"  Well, now I'm just confused.  Maybe I should turn to the book of Deuteronomy for answers.  I'll get back to you on that.