Monday, April 24, 2017

Donald J. Trump and the Cure for Cancer

This is a short story I wrote after reading online comments defending Trump by saying, "if Trump cured cancer, you'd still find something to complain about."  So imagine, if you will, if Trump cured cancer...

First, Donald Trump will start by tweeting that he found the cure for cancer. Then Sean Spicer will say that Trump meant the cure for cancer could be found but he is “not aware” of any cure. Then Steve Bannon will say that Muslims and immigrants should not receive the cure for cancer. Then Kellyanne Conway will say that scientists in Bowling Green have already cured cancer and the liberal media just hasn't reported it because they don't publish “alternative facts.” Then Michael Flynn, Paul Manafort, and Carter Page will try to sell the cure for cancer to Russia in exchange for hacking the Clinton campaign. Then the Trump family will try to merchandise the cure for cancer as part of the "blind trust" in their family business. Then the Republican Party will fight about whether only rich people will receive the cure for cancer or if they should shut down the government to debate it further.

Then investigative journalists discover that there is still no cure for cancer and Trump just made the whole thing up because he watched Fox & Friends and read Breitbart and listened to Mark Levin instead of his daily security briefings (because he's “like, a smart person”). However, Trump maintains that he will release the cure for cancer once his tax returns are no longer under audit. Lastly, Trump will go golfing at Mar-A-Lago on the taxpayer's dime for another record-breaking time.

The End

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